Then Jesus took his disciples up on the mountain and gathered them around Him. And He taught them, saying:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for their's is the kingdom of heaven,
Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted,
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth,
Blessed are you who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled,
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy,
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God,
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God,
Blessed are you who are persecuted for righteousness sake, for their's is the kingdom of heaven. . . .
And Simon Peter said, "Do we have to write this stuff down?"
And Phillip said, "Will this be on the test?"
And John said, "I'm sorry. Would you mind repeating that?"
And Andrew said, "John the Baptist's disciples don't have to learn this stuff!"
And Matthew said, "Huh?"
And Judas said, "What does this have to do with real life?"
Then, one of the Pharisees, and expert in the law said, "I don't see any of this in your syllabus. Do you have a lesson plan? Is there a summary? Where is the student guide? Will there be any follow-up assignments? How will this affect the bell curve?"
And Thomas, who had missed the sermon, came to Jesus privately and said, "Did we do anything important yesterday?"
And Jesus wept.